ytd was the reopening of school,which officially marks the end of the june holidays.
june holidays -- probably the last time that i can truly take a break from my studies and get to enjoy.
as for now...its back to the hectic school life.
back to the old school environment blah blah.
and amazingly,i do find it strange eating in the canteen.it seems as though i haven been back for quite some time and evrythg just looked kind of unfamiliar in a way=/
somehow,school life din start off really well for me.
nothing really cropped up.
but yah,im just really really reluctant to face the fact that prelims and olvl are drawing nearer.
to imagine myself in the hall,seated tgt with the rest and the kind of stress and tension tats gonna build up at that point of time...well,it seriously scares me off.

honestly,im not exactly in the mood to type out anything nice here.
and just to mention the recent changes tat the school and well,ms ng has made.
the changing of time table wasnt really special except for the fact that we're dismissed 30mins later as compared to the past.
the 'second recess' thg was brought back sumhow..and yah.
i dread staying in sch..soo this new arrangement kinda suck=X
and today..a drastic change of seating arrangements.
i shall reserve my comments..
i guess it really takes time for me to adapt to the new change and all..
and personally,im not really good at handling such stuff...

sometimes i really do wonder.
whether am i making unnecessary moves or am i putting too much thoughts into this issue.
but somehow,you make me feel that it doesnt really matter anymore..
this whole thing just turned out to be really wrong.
and every moment i try to make it seem normal..
i'd feel as if im caught up in some kind of..some kind of
arhh i dunnnooo.
whatever.this is just some random crapp.
ignore it-

BREAK FREE;
[a] 1:18 AM

for some reason,im back here again.
on a hope to feel better after typing some random crap(which i know tat im gonna do so)
yes,im feeling emo once and again.
and this post is highly recommonded to be ignored as there's a high possibility that you wun understang wat on earth am i rattling about.

somehow,i feel that there's this 'split personality' that's gradually developing right within me.
its somewhat like an 'angel and devil' thing tat ppl who are psychologically unstable tend to experience.
whenever i tell myself that i need a rest,there seems to be a voice in my head that opposes my decison.
it's hard to tell what's right from wrong.
it's even hard to differentiate the importance of certain things.

i've claimed that i wanna change.
to have a more positive attitude
to free my mind from negative thoughts.
but it's really really hard to refrain myself from having such thoughts.
am i really changing or merely escaping from reality?

although the difference may seem to be rather insignificant..
but it matters,to me at least.

ignorance is bliss-

BREAK FREE;
[a] 4:31 AM