its been a loooooooooooong while.
and yah,im here to blog again.not sure how this post will turn out like..but i shall just rattle on.
will be sitting for gp paper on mon.
and here i am,doing last minute studying yet again.
though ive decided to dedicate my weekend to gp..revising brainstorming strategies and reading essay outlines..im very much aware that it's not going to be of much help.
but at least,it can kill some teeny weeny bit of guilt in me.
how many times ive promised to give gp the deserved respect,to spare some time catching up with the news..yada yada.
empty promises you see.or rather,san fen zhong re du.
devasting gp results makes me motivated for quite some time.
quite some time..and that's it.my focus goes somewhere else..physics,chem,econs,maths.
it's just some kind of a wrong mentality which ive always wanted to change but my efforts always turn out to be futile..
but on second thought,was there even an effort made?-.-
im thoroughly ashamed of myself.

for some reasons..perhaps due to not blogging for quite some time,ive lost the ability to express my thoughts.
and im staring at the screen at this moment..thinking of what i should say.lol-.-
sounds kinda ridiculous.
but what's my purpose of blogging in the first place?
trying to practise my writing (typing) skills or.....rant about the troubles in my head.

after reading soooo manyy essays..im kinda brainwashed in a sense.
the troubles,problems,confusions and sorrow that im experiencing are just so insignificant to be mentioned.
but still..there's this issue that's been stuck in my head for quite some time.

are we getting more distant recently?
sounds cliched..but is that how a relationship is supposed to turn out with time?
from a vibrant red..and gradually changing to a pale yellow..and eventually turning colourless.
i guess you never once thought about it.but that's exactly how i feel.
from that very intense care and concern for each other at the start..we gradually got used to each other.
and perhaps now,taking each other for granted.
conflicts happening more frequently that it jus wears me out.
encouragements getting a little redundant and maybe not appreciated.
ongoing misunderstandings which turns this relationship really sour.
are we just so used to seeing each other everyday that our relationship has become so superficial..
sometimes i really wonder,how much do we understand each other?
why are all these happening at this point of time?
time and again,ive tried convincing myself that all these are part and parcel of a relationship,and are neccessary for a stronger bond to be forged between us.
but i guess im just really tired...
tired of this change.
tired of pointing out all the flaws in you.
tired of adapting and changing myself to be less unreasonable.
tired of trying not be tired out by this relationship.
tired of myself..
i seriously hope that there could be a turning point from all these.
i want to have faith in you,in this relationship.
and i really hope you can give some thought to this.
pale yellow ain't gonna stay for long.
i hope it'll turn back to a vibrant red just like before.

BREAK FREE;
[a] 8:03 AM